More...Satisfaction

I am standing in absolute stillness, silent before the one I love,

waiting as long as it takes for him to rescue me.

Only God is my Savior, and he will not fail me.

For he alone is my safe place.

His wrap-around presence always protects me

as my champion defender.

There’s no risk of failure with God!

So why would I let worry paralyze me,

even when troubles multiply around me?

God’s glory is all around me!

His wrap-around presence is all I need,

for the Lord is my Savior, my hero, and my life-giving strength.

Psalm 62:5-7

Last night I had the distinct privilege of hearing excerpts from a message by John Piper delivered at a Passion conference.  It, along with some discussion of the material presented, awakened something in me that has felt dormant for quite some time. I’ve heard John Piper speak live numerous times in my life, both during regular services at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, MN and at a few Desiring God conferences”.  John Piper has summarized much of what he teaches in a single statement:  “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” In other words, I am most happy and content when enjoying God is my dominant focus.  What I realized last night is that I have wandered from this singular focus.

This morning as I was contemplating whether the groaning that I’ve been doing is a longing to return to this satisfaction in Papa God alone, I felt God speak through Holy Spirit into my heart, ““Am I enough for you?”  Oh, how I wanted Him to be enough.  I know that He is. As I thought about this I knew that I needed my *parts to come into agreement with me. (*Parts therapy is a form of trauma therapy that seeks to resolve conflicts between different personality parts within one’s internal family system.)  As I sat with Jesus, He invited them to come together.

Each came into a space that was typically occupied by my Child part.  Jesus welcomed them all and thanked them for coming. He told them that I desired to get back to having more of Him and that the only way that could happen was for them to come into line with His will, to give up on what was past and look only to Him so He could meet their needs.

Sage, my thinking part, immediately agreed it was the best thing to do.  Child readily agreed as well, mostly because she likes to hang out with Jesus.

Passion, my feeling part, however, was more skeptical.  Jesus patiently coaxed her. “Look out over everything you see.”  Immediately her perspective was of her space and looking out over many mountainous hills and valleys.  “This is only a very small part of what is mine. And what's mine is yours as well. Do you believe that?” After a short pause He went on, “Everything you have experienced has caused you to see things as though you’re looking through a dirty screen.  Everything has been distorted. What you have seen is not true. What you have perceived your experience to be isn’t reality. I am your reality. Surrender to Me and allow me to open your eyes and bring you in to everything I have prepared for you.” After mulling around the hope that Jesus had presented, Passion, too, surrendered.

Now Jesus turned to Protector.  As her name implies, she is the part who tries to “protect” me from influences that she deems harmful.  Unfortunately for me, she sometimes gets in the way of what I really need. Now she sat looking at the floor.  “Sorry, but I don’t trust you,” she said plainly. “Thank you for your courageous response,” Jesus said. “You have spoken truth.”  He gazed at her with love pouring from every cell in His body. “Like Passion, you too have seen everything as through a dirty screen.  I have been misrepresented. What you have perceived is not who I AM. I have unlimited grace to impart to you, but you resist. You cannot do anything alone.  You cannot protect on your own. The best way to protect all of who you are is by surrendering to Me.”

Protector kept looking at the floor.  I wasn’t sure she would be moved by Jesus’ soliloquy.  Time seemed to stand still and expand all at once. It seemed like an eternity had passed before Protector finally spoke in a hushed voice.  “I will surrender.”

Jesus stood up and beckoned every part to Him.  “Come in for a group hug!” He invited joyfully, practically shouting.  Just like that, He had embraced every single one of my parts in a giant hug.  Before I knew it, I found that I was whole again, one entity within myself and He had me wrapped in a wonderfully affectionate bear hug.  “I love you with everything I AM,” He assured me. At that moment I recognized that He did.

As I reflect on the interaction of Jesus with my parts, I realize that I’ve let my past and my current circumstances cloud my vision for the only One who can rescue, defend and restore me.  Certainly David recognized this when he penned Psalm 62. I “happened” to read this psalm on my way to Psalm 63 (which John Piper quoted in his message). But immediately upon reading it, my heart was stirred with deep affection for my Papa God.

I stand silently to listen for the one I love,

waiting as long as it takes for the Lord to rescue me.

For God alone has become my Savior.

He alone is my safe place;

his wrap-around presence always protects me.

For he is my champion defender;

there’s no risk of failure with God.

So why would I let worry paralyze me,

even when troubles multiply around me?   Psalm 62:1-2

By the time I got to verse 5, I was in love all over again.  Papa God is my safe space. He is my protector and defender. His wrap-around presence is all I need.  (Psalm 62:7)  He is all I need!

If you find yourself feeling alienated or distant from God, perhaps you’ve forgotten that connection and satisfaction in God comes as a result of God glorifying Himself in you, as I did.  You are never too far. He will always welcome (and even reward!) those who seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.   ~John Piper