A Heart for the Fatherless

To the fatherless he is a father.
 To the widow he is a champion friend.

    To the lonely he gives a family.

    To the prisoners he leads into prosperity until they sing for joy.

    This is our Holy God in his Holy Place!  

Isaiah 68:5-6a TPT

I heard a statistic today that alarmed me.  A friend of mine shared a video made by Dr. Warren Farrell regarding what he calls #theBoyCrisis.  Did you know that 51% of women under the age of 30 are raising children with no father involvement?  Farrell claims that 100% of school shooters have grown up without a father in their lives.  What's more, statistics indicate that  children who have grown or are growing up in fatherless homes are much more likely to commit suicide, run away from home, drop out of school or suffer behavior disorders.  Fatherlessness has become a social pariah of epidemic proportions.

While the news seems very, very bad, I think it opens up a tremendous opportunity for the church.  The Bible has much to say about the fatherless.  In fact the Hebrew word for fatherless, or orphan as it is often translated, yäthōm, occurs forty-two times in the Old Testament.  Nearly half of the references are direct commands to help the fatherless or involve them in community.  Most of the rest are indictments against God's people for not involving themselves with the care of orphans and widows.  Is this an important topic to God?  Forty-two occurrences?   Repetition is a sign of significance when studying the Bible.  In other words, yes, this is important.

Unfortunately for the fatherless, just as the Israelites forgot about the needs of the most vulnerable among them, so too the church often overlooks the needs of single moms raising children on their own.  I have observed far too often the church turning a blind eye or standing in judgment of the single mom.  I once had a beautiful friend who was raising a son without the aid of his father.  The father was a dangerous man who needed to remain distant for the protection of this young mom and her son.  During the process I observed her angst over her own failings, failings which the church within whose walls she had sought solace heaped judgment over her.  Fortunately not all within the church hopped the Pharisee train.  One gentleman, whose children were grown, frequently took this young man on adventures.  My husband spoke frequently with him.  There were a few other men who took him under their wings.  I believe that God protected this young man.  His mother, my friend, died suddenly about a year ago.  She wound up raising an incredibly well-adjusted young man with a solid character.  But I know she didn't do it alone.  It took God's intervention.  And it took a community.   

With the large absence of fathers, the community within the church is more important than ever for the development of the next generation.  The heart of God's law made special concessions for needy among the people of Israel.  No where is this more clear than Deuteronomy 24.  God warns His people, namely the church today, of the importance of caring for the outsider, the widow and the fatherless.  He gives specific instruction in ways He expected Israel to care for this needy population, namely in leaving grain, grapes and olives for them to be able to consume.  This represented the basic necessities the agrarian inhabitants of  Israel  needed to survive.  In today's culture I would argue that much more than the very basic necessities of nourishment are needed.  These mothers and children need a supportive environment in which to thrive.  They need mentors and teachers.  They need an investment of time.  They need role models to which they can turn.  They need couples who are willing to venture into the community at large to seek out the needy and the vulnerable.  They need men!  Men who are willing to champion the cause of the overlooked and lonely (the root word in the Hebrew from which yäthōm is derived means to be lonely).

Alan currently serves on the board of the local Pregnancy Resource Clinic.  This has opened our eyes and heart to some of the special needs of moms who have chosen to keep their child rather than seek abortion.  Recently we were given the privilege of opening our hearts and our home to a young woman who was left high and dry by the father of her unborn child, a woman being served by PRC.  As I drove with her to her hometown last weekend she expressed some apprehension over raising a child on her own.  Now that I've been made aware of the statistics I am realizing just how founded her concern is.  And I have become committed to bringing awareness to her plight.  My quick answer to her was that she needed to make sure there was a godly male role model for her son, that I'd known someone who had been able to make it work under even under more unreasonable circumstances.  While that advice was given with great concern and compassion, I now recognize how short-sighted it is.  I need to do more than just encourage her.  I need to commit to change for her.  I need to be there when her needs are greatest.  And I need my husband to join that effort.  I need to insert myself into the equation without being domineering or judgmental.  I don't know what that looks like yet.   But I know with confidence that I will.  God doesn't put us in situations He can't handle.  

Here's the bottom line.  If the church is unwilling to provide a safe and supportive community for the vulnerable, who will?  Often waiting for single, unwed mothers to show up on our doorstep yields nothing.  Most will be too embarrassed or too anxious to ask for help from a "religious" organization.  Why risk accusation and disapproval?  We need to meet them where they're at.  Where is that?  Try your local crisis pregnancy center.  Many, if not most, will welcome volunteers.  Or try becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister.  There are never enough volunteers for all the children that could benefit from some one on one time with a godly adult.  Go hang out at your local community center.  Check with your local school to see if they have a mentorship program that could use another volunteer.  The possibilities are endless, really. 

God calls Himself a Father to the fatherless.  If we are to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:15-16) doesn't it seem right that we should seek out the fatherless, bring them into community then? If you happen to be among those who say they are pro-life I would challenge you to put your actions where your words are.  Continue to fight for the fatherless children you say you are concerned for.  Life doesn't end at birth.  Maybe you are the family that God is going to give. (Isaiah 68:6a)

Today I leave you with the song, Strong God, by Meredith Andrews.  Let this become your prayer and your commitment.

Father to the fatherless Defender of the weak

Freedom for the prisoner we sing

This is God in His holy place

This is God clothed in love and strength

Sing out lift your voice and cry out

Awesome is our strong God mighty is our God

You're with us in the wilderness faithful to provide

Ev'ry breath and ev'ry step we see

Sing out lift your voice and cry out

Awesome is our strong God mighty is our God

Sing out raise your hands and shout out

Awesome is our strong God mighty is our God

There is no higher no

There is no greater no

There is none stronger than our God