When It Feels Like God Isn't Good

No one can deny it—God is really good to Israel

and to all those with pure hearts.

But I nearly missed seeing it for myself. Psalm 73:1

We are living in unprecedented days. All of us are experiencing loss. Every. Single. One. Some of us may seem to be experiencing more loss than others. Loss of a loved one. Loss of freedom, however that may look. Loss of a job. Financial loss. The list could go on and on. In such times it is easy to question the goodness of God.

In fact, we don’t necessarily need times of trial and suffering to encounter those questions. Eve lived a perfect life...literally. She lived in a perfect environment with perfect climate, perfect nutrition and perfect fellowship with God. Eve had nothing she had to hide. Paradise. But questions of goodness can arise even in paradise. One day Eve encountered a completely enchanting being that posed the question of God’s goodness. “Did God actually say…?” (Genesis 3:1) And suddenly Eve was questioning the goodness of God. What did He say? Is He holding out on me? Her response to the question of God’s goodness led her to make a decision she (and, indeed the entire world after her!) would regret for the rest of her life. It broke fellowship with the One being with whom she felt completely free to be, the One who formed her from her husband’s side. It took away her choices and her freedom. Loss. The human race has been experiencing loss ever since.

God has entertained questions of His goodness ever since that day. The psalmists in particular were very bold in questioning God’s motives and His goodness. As you read many of them (the psalms of lament especially) you get a sense of frustration and fear and even anger. God where are you? Why are You silent to my cries for help? How long will you let me suffer? How long will You put up with injustice? Is God really good? These are questions born out of loss.

One of those psalmists, likely a worship leader during the reign of King David, Asaph, has written several of these psalms, raw in their emotion and bold in their admission of anger, fear and frustration. I am often drawn to Psalm 73 in particular. It begins with Asaph assuming God’s goodness but admitting he had nearly succumbed to the lie that He is not. He says:

“No one can deny it—God is really good to Israel

and to all those with pure hearts.

But I nearly missed seeing it for myself.” Psalm 73:1

Asaph goes on to describe the intense emotions he has over those that seem to triumph over him and his situation. (Psalm 73:2-16) 

He questions whether submitting to God’s restrictions (placed on him for his own safety) is really worth it.

Have I been foolish to play by the rules and keep my life pure?

Here I am suffering under your discipline day after day.

I feel like I’m being punished all day long. Psalm 73:13-14

Asaph is feeling defeated. His loss is overwhelming him. But then something changes.

But then one day I was brought into the sanctuaries of God,

and in the light of glory, my distorted perspective vanished. Psalm 73:17

Asaph has an encounter with God. As he comes into the sanctuary of God (which we also can do when we pray) his perspective changes. When we find ourselves in the difficult position of loss and find intense emotions rising up within us, the best thing we can do is to take those to God. He can handle our emotions. He can handle our questions. He can help us work through them. He can change our perspective.

Asaph’s perspective changes from self-focused and feeling sorry for himself to God-focused and seeing himself in light of who God is.

When my heart was embittered

And I was pierced within,Then I was senseless and ignorant; 

I was like a beast before You. Psalm 73:21-22

Momentarily his emotions intensify and he feels hopelessly separated from God. I can relate to his description of himself as a beast. I’ve been there. I’ve felt like that before. Perhaps you have also. I feel like a beast when I get angry. And I’ve found myself angry more than once these past couple of weeks!!

But God, in His goodness, never leaves us there. It is only the liar and the thief that want us to stay hidden in this state of mind!

Nevertheless I am continually with You;

You have taken hold of my right hand.

With Your counsel You will guide me, 

And afterward receive me to glory. Psalm 73:23-24

Even becoming like a beast before God cannot separate me from His love! (This same idea is also central in Paul’s letter to the Romans in chapter 8) He is continually with me! This realization causes Asaph to consider:

Whom have I in heaven but You?

And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:25-26

I love these verses! When we allow ourselves to be honest with God, He can bring us to the place where we recognize what we truly need. And that would be God Himself!!!!

As you go from this place in these days of isolation and fear amid the onslaught of COVID-19, find comfort in Psalm 73. God is greater than anything that comes at us. We can rest in that. AND His goodness!!

You Have Permission to Receive Like a Child

“Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children.  I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”  Luke 18:16-17

Today I had an encounter with Jesus that got me rethinking the verses in Luke 18 sandwiched between Jesus’ teaching on prayer and the story of the rich young ruler.  I’ve often glossed over this section of Scripture because it felt awkward to me in the context. It has long been just a cute story about Jesus loving on some children.  Or is there more to it than that?

As I was praying this morning, I felt sorrowful in the place that I am.  Truthfully, this is a feeling that has been dogging me for several weeks.  I’ve tried to understand why because I love the people in my life; I love where I live; I love my church and the ministries in which I serve.  And I especially love that God is in it all!

So I took those feelings to Jesus this morning.  As always He greeted me with grace and warmth. He invited me to sit with Him.  And as I sat I became aware that Jesus was suddenly larger than life. He gathered me into His lap.  As I snuggled in, feeling the strength of His arms, the warmth and strength of His chest, I became very aware that I was a child in His arms.

In my mind, I stepped back to observe.  I still felt the warmth of Jesus’ embrace, still felt buoyed by His strength, but I found myself watching as well.  And there cuddled in the arms of Jesus was Child Me. I found myself thinking about other interactions I’ve had with Jesus.  I was aware that most often I interact with Him as a child. Knowing my heart and my thoughts, Jesus brought a verse to mind, “anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”  (Luke 18:17b)  I knew I was being invited to spend some time with Jesus in Luke 18.

I think the key to understanding this passage might be found in the phrase God brought to my mind, “anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” (Luke 18:17b) I thought about the word “received.”  I typically think of this word in a passive form.  I may reach out my hand, but it is the action of someone else thrusting something at me that causes me to be able to accept or receive. While there is still implication that something is given, the Greek word Luke uses here is not passive! (Note: it is also the same word Mark uses in Mark 10:15)  According to Strong’s Lexicon dechomai is translated “to take hold of, to take with the hand.”  The picture I have is of Christmas with my husband’s family, especially when my children were small (though to be honest, it hasn’t changed that much with the passing of years).  First overflowing stockings are distributed to everyone. These are grabbed firmly with willing hands. Squeals of joy often follow with generous amounts of “Thank you! Thank you!” being uttered.  Once the gifts in the stockings have been unwrapped, piles of gifts are distributed. These, quite often, are the “requested” gifts, those gifts that have been most hoped for. Here the intensity of the reception increases followed by more vigorous squeals and more “Thank you’s.”  Because they know they are loved, there is no hesitancy in the way my children receive those gifts.

Now with that picture in mind, imagine the phrase “receive the Kingdom of God like a child.”  At a very young age my children learned that they could grab hold of those gifts.  Our heavenly Papa wants us to receive His kingdom with that much earnest, with squeals of joy, not shrinking back with doubt and hesitancy.  What child receives a new toy as though it might break?

I used to think that receiving God’s kingdom like a child meant I had to believe simply, unquestioningly, like a child.  I don't think that perception is quite accurate. I see now that what God desires is a heart that receives Him with earnestness, clinging to His chest, clamoring for His love and grabbing deliberately for everything He has for us.

More...Satisfaction

I am standing in absolute stillness, silent before the one I love,

waiting as long as it takes for him to rescue me.

Only God is my Savior, and he will not fail me.

For he alone is my safe place.

His wrap-around presence always protects me

as my champion defender.

There’s no risk of failure with God!

So why would I let worry paralyze me,

even when troubles multiply around me?

God’s glory is all around me!

His wrap-around presence is all I need,

for the Lord is my Savior, my hero, and my life-giving strength.

Psalm 62:5-7

Last night I had the distinct privilege of hearing excerpts from a message by John Piper delivered at a Passion conference.  It, along with some discussion of the material presented, awakened something in me that has felt dormant for quite some time. I’ve heard John Piper speak live numerous times in my life, both during regular services at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, MN and at a few Desiring God conferences”.  John Piper has summarized much of what he teaches in a single statement:  “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” In other words, I am most happy and content when enjoying God is my dominant focus.  What I realized last night is that I have wandered from this singular focus.

This morning as I was contemplating whether the groaning that I’ve been doing is a longing to return to this satisfaction in Papa God alone, I felt God speak through Holy Spirit into my heart, ““Am I enough for you?”  Oh, how I wanted Him to be enough.  I know that He is. As I thought about this I knew that I needed my *parts to come into agreement with me. (*Parts therapy is a form of trauma therapy that seeks to resolve conflicts between different personality parts within one’s internal family system.)  As I sat with Jesus, He invited them to come together.

Each came into a space that was typically occupied by my Child part.  Jesus welcomed them all and thanked them for coming. He told them that I desired to get back to having more of Him and that the only way that could happen was for them to come into line with His will, to give up on what was past and look only to Him so He could meet their needs.

Sage, my thinking part, immediately agreed it was the best thing to do.  Child readily agreed as well, mostly because she likes to hang out with Jesus.

Passion, my feeling part, however, was more skeptical.  Jesus patiently coaxed her. “Look out over everything you see.”  Immediately her perspective was of her space and looking out over many mountainous hills and valleys.  “This is only a very small part of what is mine. And what's mine is yours as well. Do you believe that?” After a short pause He went on, “Everything you have experienced has caused you to see things as though you’re looking through a dirty screen.  Everything has been distorted. What you have seen is not true. What you have perceived your experience to be isn’t reality. I am your reality. Surrender to Me and allow me to open your eyes and bring you in to everything I have prepared for you.” After mulling around the hope that Jesus had presented, Passion, too, surrendered.

Now Jesus turned to Protector.  As her name implies, she is the part who tries to “protect” me from influences that she deems harmful.  Unfortunately for me, she sometimes gets in the way of what I really need. Now she sat looking at the floor.  “Sorry, but I don’t trust you,” she said plainly. “Thank you for your courageous response,” Jesus said. “You have spoken truth.”  He gazed at her with love pouring from every cell in His body. “Like Passion, you too have seen everything as through a dirty screen.  I have been misrepresented. What you have perceived is not who I AM. I have unlimited grace to impart to you, but you resist. You cannot do anything alone.  You cannot protect on your own. The best way to protect all of who you are is by surrendering to Me.”

Protector kept looking at the floor.  I wasn’t sure she would be moved by Jesus’ soliloquy.  Time seemed to stand still and expand all at once. It seemed like an eternity had passed before Protector finally spoke in a hushed voice.  “I will surrender.”

Jesus stood up and beckoned every part to Him.  “Come in for a group hug!” He invited joyfully, practically shouting.  Just like that, He had embraced every single one of my parts in a giant hug.  Before I knew it, I found that I was whole again, one entity within myself and He had me wrapped in a wonderfully affectionate bear hug.  “I love you with everything I AM,” He assured me. At that moment I recognized that He did.

As I reflect on the interaction of Jesus with my parts, I realize that I’ve let my past and my current circumstances cloud my vision for the only One who can rescue, defend and restore me.  Certainly David recognized this when he penned Psalm 62. I “happened” to read this psalm on my way to Psalm 63 (which John Piper quoted in his message). But immediately upon reading it, my heart was stirred with deep affection for my Papa God.

I stand silently to listen for the one I love,

waiting as long as it takes for the Lord to rescue me.

For God alone has become my Savior.

He alone is my safe place;

his wrap-around presence always protects me.

For he is my champion defender;

there’s no risk of failure with God.

So why would I let worry paralyze me,

even when troubles multiply around me?   Psalm 62:1-2

By the time I got to verse 5, I was in love all over again.  Papa God is my safe space. He is my protector and defender. His wrap-around presence is all I need.  (Psalm 62:7)  He is all I need!

If you find yourself feeling alienated or distant from God, perhaps you’ve forgotten that connection and satisfaction in God comes as a result of God glorifying Himself in you, as I did.  You are never too far. He will always welcome (and even reward!) those who seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.   ~John Piper

The Question? No, the Response!

Having determined our destiny ahead of time, he called us to himself and transferred his perfect righteousness to everyone he called. And those who possess his perfect righteousness he co-glorified with his Son!   

Romans 8:30

I recently went through several really tough weeks.  I felt bombarded by disparaging thoughts on multiple planes and from multiple directions.  It felt like an attack. It came mostly from circumstances. But it came also from unwitting comments of family and friends.  I felt like I was drowning. I despaired of life itself. Those encouraging words given to console me rolled right off as easily as they rolled on.  While the hardest part of the struggle seems to have moved away, I still feel somewhat alienated from God. I’m having a hard time trusting His goodness for me.

Then this morning as I was meditating through Romans 8 I stopped when I got to verse 30…”Having determined our destiny ahead of time, he called us to himself.”  (Romans 8:30a TPT)  Immediately I thought “Why?”  I closed my eyes and waited for a response.  It did not take long.

“You’re asking the wrong question,” came the reply.  Suddenly I felt myself floating upwards. I swirled, watching the ground becoming less and less distinct.  I saw myself gliding into space and saw a large blue orb take form beneath me. Earth. I knew as I floated through space, that orb shrinking beneath me that the question of “Why did God choose me?” had very little to do with the reality that He had chosen me.  And His choice of me is a grand and glorious gift! “Why?” is the wrong question. “How do I respond?” is the right question.  

God showed me in spectacular fashion, His choice of me is not insignificant.  His creation is vast, limitless from my perspective. I had nothing to do with God’s creation of it just as I had nothing to do with His choice to show me mercy in it.

Perhaps you don’t relate to the question “Why did God choose me?”  Perhaps one of these resonates: “Why would God put me through this suffering?  Or give me parents that beat me? Why would God let bullies say or do mean things to me?  Why would God let my spouse/child/parent/friend/etc die? Why would He let me suffer from cancer?  Or Lyme’s disease? Or diabetes? Or… Maybe your life is great and none of these hits a nerve with you.  Perhaps you might ask: Why is life so good? Why has God given me such great friends? Or such a great church?  Or such an amazing spouse? All of these questions miss the main point.

The apostle Paul, instructing the Romans about this very topic, tells his listeners that God is like a potter, an image with which they would have been very familiar.  The Potter makes pots according to His purpose. The fragile clay pots have nothing to do with their destiny. They owe everything to the Potter. Paul asks these rhetorical questions:

Doesn’t the potter have the right to make from the same lump of clay an elegant vase or an ordinary pot?

And in the same way, although God has every right to unleash his anger and demonstrate his power, yet he is extremely patient with those who deserve wrath—vessels prepared for destruction. And doesn’t he also have the right to release the revelation of the wealth of his glory to his vessels of mercy, whom God prepared beforehand to receive his glory?   Romans 9:21b-23

Yes, it is God alone who gets to determine my destiny.  It is He who gets to choose me for His own good purposes.  My place isn’t to ask why just as it’s not the place of the pot to demand an explanation from the Potter.  The reality is that God gets to choose to be gracious and merciful. I can’t demand those gifts. But He chooses to give them.  The only choice I have is in how I respond. Paul quotes Hosea: 

To those who were rejected and not my people,

    I will say to them: ‘You are mine.’

And to those who were unloved I will say:

    ‘You are my darling.’  Romans 9:25  

What he doesn’t give us is the response found in Hosea 2:23:

I will plant her for myself in the land;

    I will show my love to the one I called ‘Not my loved one.’

I will say to those called ‘Not my people,’ ‘You are my people’;

    and they will say, ‘You are my God.’  Hosea 2:23 (emphasis mine)

How do I respond?  I respond by declaring that it is Papa God through Christ Jesus who is my God.  He alone deserves that place of honor. It is to Him that I surrender my will and my way.  It is to Him that I surrender the right to have my questions answered. If He chooses to show me why, He will.  Otherwise, I have to keep trusting that He has my destiny determined for His glory...no matter what I feel like at the moment!

A Tribute to Beckie

...this woman was abounding with deeds of kindness 

and charity which she continually did. Acts 9:36b

When Peter came to Lydda disciples from Joppa heard he was there and asked him to come to them. They had lost a beloved saint whom they called Dorcas. She was described as “abounding with deeds of kindness and charity which she continually did.” (Acts 9:36b) When Peter arrived in Joppa the widows of that town gathered around him and showed him all the beautiful garments Dorcas had made for them. (Acts 9:39) Dorcas had cared for the “least of these.” She had ministered to Jesus through these needy widows as He had described to His disciples.

Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’ (Matthew 25:34-40)

The church I attend, a community of believers, lost a Dorcas today. More than that, the community of State College lost a Dorcas. She ministered in the recesses of life, extending grace to those other people overlooked…”the least of these.” Jesus never saw such people - the homeless, imprisoned and impoverished - as least. And neither did Beckie. She saw them through the eyes of Jesus, intrinsically valuable because Jesus saw them that way. Those who knew her would tell you that she gave of herself tirelessly, volunteering full time, giving away what little she had so others might have something. She showed the homeless and those in prison what the love of Jesus looks like in practice. I feel heavily the loss that is seeping from the community of believers who knew of Beckie’s tireless gifts of time for the marginalized. She cared for those so many of us haven’t even made the effort to see.

When I heard that Beckie had passed into the heavenly realm of Jesus her King, I mourned my own loss. Beckie always had kind words and words of encouragement and hope...for me… and for everyone! You couldn’t help but smile when you saw her. She shimmered joy, radiating love and acceptance wherever she went. I will miss those brief interactions. I know I’m not alone! In the two hours since her death was shared on Facebook forty-seven people have left comments about Beckie’s life. Here are just a few.

“I cannot think of a kinder or more generous person than Beckie Romig.”

“Beckie was just a wonderful and loving person.”

“May her beautiful soul rest in peace! She touched many lives in many different places. It was an honor to know her.”

“Beckie was a gift to me and many...both those close to home and around the world. I am thankful for knowing her and seeing her pour out her heart and care in so many ways...truly representing Jesus.”

“She was God’s gift to so many. She served Jesus well and is now rejoicing in His presence.”
My pastor’s wife, Lynn, perhaps had the most comprehensive comment.
A whole community shares your grief over the loss of Beckie...her heart of compassion for everyone she met was a beautiful thing to watch. She loved tirelessly. I know she delighted in her family and her grand kids gave her SO much joy! Praying for God's peace that passes understanding to hold you up. We will grieve, but I'm so thankful that we don't grieve without hope...and I know Beckie would want everyone of us to grasp onto the hope of Jesus, and to love those around us as Beckie loved each one that God put in her path. (emphasis mine)

Beckie’s hope was not found in things temporal, physical or material. Her motivation wasn’t rooted in things that are seen or touched. She loved Jesus fiercely. Though her body was often wracked with pain, she rarely complained, preferring to defer to Jesus. She dances with Him now, I’m sure. She loved well because she had received the love of God well and understood that it wasn’t a thing to be hoarded, but rather, something to share and give away.

Beckie has joined the “great cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1) She has been for me and will continue to be a hero of the faith. She is glorified even now in the presence of Christ. (Romans 8:30) But it’s not about her and it’s not about the glory in which she revels now. I know she’d say it’s about Jesus! She would encourage us to put aside ourselves and love fiercely… Love Jesus! Love others indiscriminately!

Thank you Papa God for the time that you gave Beckie to this world. Thank You that You wrote her name in Your Book of Life. Thank You that You put Your love in her heart and that she loved so well. I imagine that You are rejoicing over having her home. Help us to grieve well and help us to love well, as she did.

More...Listening

While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!” 
Matthew 17:5

I like to hear the sound of my own voice. I sometimes speak out loud when I am by myself. I like to hear the sound of myself sharing my thoughts. While this isn’t inherently wrong, it can sometimes get in the way of hearing what God wants to say to me. You see, usually when I speak to myself I am not waiting for Him to speak but am voicing what I want first.

That very well may have been Peter’s issue when he was on the Mount of Transfiguration with Jesus. He wants Jesus. That is not in doubt. But was Jesus truly enough for Peter? Or was he easily distracted by the appearance of two of his heroes in the faith?

One minute Peter is with Jesus, enjoying some much needed respite from the crowds and demands and the next minute Jesus is shining, glowing as though He has somehow become nuclear! And with Him are two men Peter recognized instantly! Moses and Elijah! His lifelong heroes!

No doubt Peter was afraid. Mark tells us as much. Mark’s gospel is likely told through the experience of Peter. (Mark 9:5-6) Mark relates Peter’s story, “I didn’t know what to say!” (my paraphrase)

Indeed, what do you say when the man you have walked hundreds of miles with, had conversations with, who you thought you knew pretty well suddenly becomes bursting light? And if that wasn’t enough two of your faith heroes show up too! I would submit that the human brain damaged by its sin nature can’t fully grasp that sort of reality.

Peter, in his shock, blurts out, “Let’s build some shrines! You can have one, Jesus. And yes, I’ll make a couple for Moses and Elijah as well! Just give the word!” Somehow Peter has yet to connect all the dots. He has not yet come to understand that it is Jesus who is preeminent. Peter has betrayed his own heart. Jesus is his hero, yes. But he has other heroes as well. He is willing to give these lesser heroes equal billing. Jesus has not yet become his all in all.

Before another word can be spoken, the whole mountain is enveloped with something like a cloud, but one that glows with light rather than covering everything in shadow and darkness. Papa God has shown up and He’s not messing around. “Pay attention! This is my Son, whom I love dearly and who pleases me completely. Listen to Him!” (Matthew 17:5, my paraphrase)

Listen to Him. I have ruminated on just that phrase all day long. Do I really listen? Or do I respond to Jesus in much the same manner Peter demonstrates on the mountain? Do I make lesser things equal to or greater than Jesus? It is an important question. And if I truly want more of God, I need to pay attention to what God tells me to do.

Listen.

Listen instead of clamoring to get my own way.

Listen instead of yelling and screaming out of the pain of my own circumstances.
Listen when I think I’ve got things figured out...because I really don’t.
Listen when life seems to be going well and I don’t seem to have any cares.
Listen when life is falling apart.

Listen...  

Always.

When I am listening I am more apt to speak helpful, God glorifying things. I am more in tune with His desires.  I am more able to put away lesser things.  I am more apt to be worshipful.  My heart more openly beats with desire for Him!  More of Him!

Today I leave you with the words from a song written by the worshipper, Matt Redman:

You are God in heaven

And here am I on earth

So I'll let my words be few

Jesus, I am so in love with You

And I'll stand in awe of You, Jesus

Yes, I'll stand in awe of You

And I'll let my words be few

Jesus, I am so in love with You

The simplest of all love songs

I want to bring to You

So I'll let my words be few

Jesus, I am so in love with You

More...The Language of Covenant Love

After supper was over, he lifted the cup again and said, 

“This cup is my blood of the new covenant I make with you, and it will 

be poured out soon for all of you." 

 Luke 22:20

Probably the most stunning and beautiful moments in my life came when my husband, Alan, handed me a beautiful little card in which he’d written a sentimental request, “Will you marry me?” As I gasped, he handed over a perfectly fitting diamond ring. With a nearly shouted “Yes!” I became engaged. While it looked dramatically different, Jesus, too, extended a covenant proposal to His followers.

In the night before Jesus’ death, when the disciples sat down with Him to celebrate Passover as they had certainly done on at least two prior occasions, the last thing they expected was for Jesus to deviate from the only Passover script they’d ever known. Yet when the time came for Jesus to break the middle piece of flatbread, or matzah as it is commonly known, He added a new line, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” (Luke 22:19b) While this may have caused them some discomfort, what Jesus did after they’d taken their bite of bread probably took their breath away. “After the supper he took the cup, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant.’” (Luke 22:20a) I imagine the disciples must have gasped, for this was way outside the normal conversation of the Passover seder. So far out, in fact, that they likely wondered why Jesus would speak the language of a marriage proposal to them!

According to Barb Peil, “when a Jewish man proposed to a woman, he passed her a cup of wine. If she drank from it, she accepted the proposal and they were engaged.” (You Bible - 100 Days with Jesus - Passion) That cup of wine in Jesus’ hand and His declaration of a new covenant would have indicated to the Jewish minds of His followers that He was making a proposal of marriage to them. This very well could have left them confused. “Jesus, why are you toasting us with a marriage proposal during Passover? Aren’t we supposed to be remembering as is the custom of the Law? Why this change, Jesus?”

In case His disciples missed His point with the glass of wine Jesus continues with more of His intimate marriage proposal language during His final hours with His disciples, framing His deep, sacrificial love for them. “In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” (John 14:2-3) “Preparing a room” is the language of marriage, the language of intimate love.

A part of the expected marriage tradition in Jewish homes in those days was for the bridegroom to prepare, or construct, the room to which he would bring his bride at the appointed time. Extended families often lived together. Additions to the main home structure would be added to make room for new family units. The marriage would take place when the Father determined the room was adequately ready for the new couple. And in those days entering into marriage was ceremonious only in that there would be a procession leading to the new room. The bride and groom would step across that threshold and enjoy passionate, intimate relationship with each other as they consummated their marriage.

Not only has Jesus imparted a marriage proposal of sorts with the offering of wine as part of a new covenant, He now increases the intimacy of the conversation by telling His disciples that He is making their room ready and will come to get them when that room is ready, when the Father says it’s time!

In the last few hours of His life He wanted His followers to know that this wasn’t the end. He had a bigger, better plan in mind. He gave them hope and something for which to look forward.  He wanted them to have More.  He wanted to give them More than they could ever imagine.  When Jesus calls you to be His own, He uses the language of passionate love. He invites you into intimacy with Him. He is the bridegroom every heart longs for! He is the passionate lover who lays down His life for His bride.

Now whenever I come to the table, to take communion, I remember Jesus' proposal...and I smile.  I am forever the bride awaiting my passionate, self-sacrificing groom!  I drink the wine and I accept His invitation to be His own.  I renew my commitment to follow Him the rest of my life.

Imagine at this moment that Jesus is handing you a cup of wine - because He is. “This cup is my blood of the new covenant I make with you,” He says.  How will you respond?